No one really taught us to be parents even our parents. Parenting is something we learn as we have our own. We see our parents as we grown up, how they love and discipline us. (Don’t get me wrong with this I love my parents) but at times there is something we see that they are doing wrong or we just don’t understand why they did that.
As I became one (a parent), my husband and I had a fear on how to bring up our baby. We had thoughts of maybe we might miss lead our baby, how to guide him properly, how should we respond properly if we are mad, how to apply discipline with love, maybe our discipline is over and etc. And I think many parents can relate with this dilemma. With this fear lingering in our thoughts, we never forget to pray and ask God for His guidance and co-parent with us in our family. I get our confidence and assurance from Him.
I’ll share to you how we base and apply our parenting by concepts (This is also based on the reading plan I’m reading through my mobile bible app). This will be in series (para hindi mahaba and boring basahin) 😀
Discipline and Love
We all know it’s hard to give consequence to their bad choice but we should think “What is the most loving thing we can do for our child?” Is it to just to let go and not giving them correction without learning or give them the consequence they earned to learn the lesson God designed for them.
A good consequence is given with understanding and care, applied with love and the respect for the freedom of choosing and his ability to learn from the consequence of a bad decision.
As stated in the Bible from…
Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
and
Proverbs 3:12
“…Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
Discipline, Character and Hope
When our children suffer their consequence from their bad choices, our initial action is to save them or just want to protect them to not experience those pains and hurts. But what we are really doing is preventing them to learn. God’s plan is to mature a person through their trials.
“Character-building lessons are rarely learned from the triumphs of life. Rather, it is the trials in our lives that teach us how to persevere despite the pain.” – Parenting by Design (Mobile Bible App)
When we inhibit our children from experiencing their trials, we inhibit their chance to grow, build their character, and learn to continue in hoping in the Lord.
In Romans 5:3-5 (NIV) states that…
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
How do we apply it?
Right now, Pao-pao is now in his “Trouble-Two’s” stage in which he is exploring, learning and experiencing. When he do something that isn’t nice, we give him the rod or talk to him. We just give the rod on the hands, lower legs or butt. We don’t do it anywhere else and in moderation meaning not too hard. Just enough to let him feel a sting. And not many times, most is at 2. We give it only when he does something consecutively not good or something that is too much. As much as we can, we talk to him. At times, it hurts to give him that because you can see him crying (even if you give it not that hard). Then after he has cried, we explain to him why we do it and explain what he has done wrong for us to give that. And we tell him that we love him, we want him to learn that’s why we are doing that.
But you know, when we have establish that (“If he does something isn’t good, his consequence will be the rod”), we have given him the rod lesser. He now knows that if he does or continues doing something isn’t good, he will receive the rod. But of course we remind him of that and then he stops and says sorry.
Just a reminder, don’t give the rod if you are in anger but instead in love. Always keep in mind, you are doing that because you love you child. And if in anger, you might abuse the rod.
I hope this brings added knowledge and enlightenment. Hope that you all like this and follow the next part.
Thank you… 😀