I have read a post on a group I’m in asking, “Who do you prioritize first, your husband or children?”. It made me think, who do I prioritize?
Before I have a mindset that children are first to priority before anyone in the family because they are still small and helpless. But when I was practicing that in our family, our relationship (husband and wife) is starting to get bitter. We had frequent small arguments of little things that becomes bigger of an issue. I felt tired, stressed and easily angered (to husband and baby). I love my family but it became as if it’s an obligation of work rather than doing it with love and joy. Doing the chores, taking care of the baby and adding to that, I had to look into the issues of hubby. When we fight, it also affects how I am with our baby. In short, it was a disaster. Hehehe.
We had to stop this. As husband and wife, we had to talk about this. We talked about our issues to one another and how we can turn this around. With our conversations, it made me realize that same as our kids, our husbands has also needs that we as wife should take care. For example, when they go home from work, of course they are tired. They want someone to take care of them. Or at times, they just want someone to talk to and spend quality time.
Knowing and understandin where he is coming from, I had to change my priority, putting my husband first then baby. (But of course God first then husband second). And like what the Bible says…
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
– Genesis 2:18
“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man” .”
– Genesis 2:22-23
The Lord made woman for man (wife for husband) and not for children. And of course, I’m not saying that we will not take care of the our kids. Of course we will! But in our priority, husband goes first.
Think like this….If your relationship as husband and wife is chaotic don’t you think your children won’t get affected by it? Or if you get separated, won’t the children’s life be ruined. As children needs a mother, so also they need a father.
As a result of changing my mindset and practicing…our relationship is more healthier. Even our family is more happy. And adding to that, he became more appreciative of what I do and even share with the work I do around our home. On some circumstances that I need to prioritize our baby, we both agreed on it that I have to put first our baby before him.
By the grace of God I am able to do it constantly in realigning my priorities.